Thinking is difficult, that's why most people judge. - Carl Gustav Jung
Growing aspirations for more expensive lifestyles, reflected in rapidly increasing house prices, are dominating some people’s lives. The desire to stay in this race leads many to work longer and harder, often at the cost of other aspects of their well-being. Unsustainable work practices and poor working conditions are a significant part of the overall viability of the profession into the future.
Creativity doesn’t necessarily happen between 9am to 5pm. We suffer and sacrifice leisure time for competitive desire or conformity work culture or fear of not being viewed as a team player. We give up today in the hope that one day start my own practice. We become habituated to the stresses and pressures, perhaps until a health problem forces us to consider alternatives.
They are armored and detached, perhaps defensively or they become “pleasers” in adult relationships, not being able to say ‘no’ wanting a relationship so intense that the other person backs off. Alas, both types aren’t able to get the kind of emotional connection. They are afraid of intimacy on all levels; they are intensely vulnerable, and tend to be clingy and dependent. They oversensitive (about things real and imagined), overthinking everything and make avoidance the default position.
Maybe your mother was flawless, but it's more likely she made mistakes. Whatever her errors, you inherited a legacy of sorrow. You can and should find a way to heal what is call the "mother wound." it can be feeling of unloved, needy, stupid and helpless. If none of these feelings are familiar to you, it's a sure sign that you've been very well mothered.
We expect the world of them, and we do not wish to lower our expectations. We want our parents to embrace us, to tell us they know we were good children, to take back their hurtful criticisms, to give us their praise, to undo the favouritism they've shown to a brother or sister. Once you're feeling that pain or emotion, try and connect it to your past to uncover where that pattern of pain began. Now you need to forgive your parents and let them in again. Strange as it may seem, a grudge is a kind of clinging, a way of not separating, and when we hold a grudge against a parent, we are clinging not just to the parent, but more specifically to the bad part of the parent. It is important to separate from our parent—which is to stop seeing ourselves as children who depend on them for our emotional well-being, to stop being their victims, to recognize that we are adults with some capacity to shape our own lives and the responsibility to do so.
Along the way, we may have to express our protest, we may have to be angry and resentful, we may even have to punish our parents by holding a grudge. But when we get there, the forgiveness we achieve will be a forgiveness worth having.
My favourite strategy for this is to find another mother (not my girlfriend but divide it among my trusted friends--- i call them my support base system). a perfect mother is anyone who makes you feel nourished by making me feel accepted as I am; who is willing to explains so that i can understand & learn from by following their example; empowers me with courage, confidence and independence.
Along with eating the right food and getting enough exercise, meditation is a powerful way to bring well-being and stress-free life. Writing can be very therapeutic and doesn't need to be shared with anyone to have powerful effects. If you're feeling upset, nothing beats walking away. Identify stress triggers, organise yourself, get proper sleep and learn to say NO. The key to handling your stress and your bodies' reaction to stress is self-management and mini-relaxations. A few minutes of alone time can save your sanity. Use it when your attention is scattered. It will bring you back to a calm state and allow your brain to function normally.
Even the ordinary activities of daily life can be times of meditation when you free yourself from the strictures of habit and the tendency to be only half-alive. Sometimes you will tap into a wellspring of peace. Other times you might feel waves of sleepiness, boredom, anxiety, anger or sadness. Images may arise, old songs might replay, long-buried memories can surface. If your mind wanders, don't be concerned. we can be flooded with memories, plans or random thinking. It's important not to blame yourself. Notice that you don't invite your thoughts. Thoughts come and go without our volition, but we don't have to be ruled by them.
Success in meditation is measured not in terms of whatever may be happening, but rather how we are relating to what is happening. If you feel overwhelmed by thoughts or feelings, use awareness of your breath to anchor your attention to your body. Notice whatever has captured your attention, then let go of the thought or feeling, and return to the awareness of the breath. In this way, meditation teaches us gentleness and an ability to forgive our mistakes in life and to go on.
Some parents inadvertently diminish their children’s self-esteem by interfering with or belittling their signals for interest and enjoyment. This triggers the automatic, built-in response of shame, and shame erodes self-esteem.
Often its both the parents and children have a variety of troubles related to a poor sense of self and self-esteem. The adults in these families often don’t understand how feelings and emotions work. The family ends up in a toxic situation because there is a mismatch between the child’s expression of emotional needs and the parent’s ability to respond appropriately. Often, then, the children fail to develop a solid sense of self—who they are, what they like and don’t like, a confidence in their perceptions and feelings, and so on. The resulting tension that develops between parent and child can contribute to the erosion of his self-esteem. The child may become angry, defensive, intolerant, and inflexible, or withdrawn, self-destructive, envious, and fearful. In fact, a whole variety of the less pleasing personality traits can be directly attributed to a person’s lack of belief in his own essential worth. Think bully. Think timid. Think depressed, depleted, and drained. These different qualities result, in part, from a lack of self-esteem.
When a baby cries, or fusses, or coos, she expects you to react with as much enthusiasm or distress as she does about what is happening to her. What parents sometimes forget is that to babies those reactions of distress are proportional to the situation. Not being able to get a hold of a ball that rolled into a corner is terrible! And your baby wants you to pay attention to him when he announces it in no uncertain terms. He finds himself incapable of righting the situation himself—no matter what he does, he’ll never be able to reach the ball. Talk about frustration! So he asks for your help in the only way he can—by making a scene. If that doesn't elicit your sympathy and attention, if you don’t respond and help your baby out of his distress, he will begin to think that his problems don’t really matter, how he feels doesn't count. Instead, if you take the opportunity to pay attention, validating and confirming his feelings and perceptions, you will help your child become confident.
Provide Reward and Praise
Along with paying attention, reward and praise from you are essential to child’s self-esteem. You must never forget how much your child wants to be like you and to be liked by you. Kids need to hear that you approve of them and think they are wonderful. They long to see the “gleam in your eye” that signals love and approval. You can’t assume they know how you feel. They don’t. They need to be told, over and over and over. In the long run, reward and praise tend to be better and healthier motivators than fear and shame. Of course, whenever you’re dealing with behavior, it is also important to explain to the child the pros and cons, the reasons and rationales, for whatever issue is at stake.
If a child perceives the world as threatening or dangerous, it is almost impossible for her to feel brave and strong, to know that she can make her way through it successfully. But when you respond to your child’s negative signals of distress and anger by allowing expression of the signals and then removing the triggers, you have begun to give her the tools to deal with the world. When it comes to feeling confident, nothing helps a helpless baby like knowing she can depend on you to shield her from danger and distress.
Don't let life's juggling act distract you from what's truly important…the people you love. Building strong family bonds will keep your loved ones connected for generations. Expand your family circle by reconnecting with first, second and even third cousins! Don't wait for the reunion to come together as a group. Children may not remember their first birthday party or first bath, but a keepsake box can help commemorate those special moments for years to come.
Don't forget to write a meaningful letter to your child—seal your legacy with love. Sometimes, the greatest gift of all is the gift of memories—they last forever and the fun of "opening" them never disappears!
To connect with you own child, begin taking your son out to breakfast as a weekly ritual. The breakfast had no agenda other than to give you and your son some time together. Repeatedly asking your children questions about their lives and sharing what happens in your life away from home will help your children open up. Be persistent and patient.
By choosing books with topics that adolescents deal with, the book discussions will create an opportunity for everyone to talk openly about important issues, including developing sexuality and relationships with friends. when your children leave give them gifts that symbolize freedom and responsibility—a basic cookbook etc. encourage them to check in at least once a week, whether it's with an e-mail update every Friday or a Sunday morning phone call.