Psyche: "It a bridge between intellectual, emotional, and motor functions of the body. When we use expressive arts, often we connect very quickly with the unconscious and hence it helps us understand our inner world better and the dynamics that are playing out in the psyche."
"If you surrender to the wind, you can ride it." ~Toni Morrison
“When you develop a relationship with your psyche this way, you begin to carry that energy into life and your relationships.” Marion Woodman
"Close friends contribute to our personal growth. They also contribute to our personal pleasure, making the music sound sweeter, the wine taste richer, the laughter ring louder because they are there." ~Judith Viorst
Did you know the loneliest time for men is considered to be around when they are 35 years old and for women its 21 years old! Feeling acutely lonely is as stressful as being punched in the face by a stranger. It is a signal that your natural psychological needs are not being met. It is a form of grief – for yourself, and for the culture you live in going so wrong. "All humans have certain basic psychological needs. We need to feel we belong. We need to feel valued. We need to feel we’re good at something. We need to feel we have a secure future. And there is growing evidence that our culture isn’t meeting those psychological needs for many – perhaps most – people." In very different ways, we have become disconnected from things we really need, and this deep disconnection is driving this epidemic. Some of these solutions are things we can do as individuals, in our private lives. Some require bigger social shifts, which we can only achieve together, as citizens.
"You have nothing to prove to anybody.” Maya Angelou
"Self-care is not an indulgence." "Compassion is the basis of morality."
You also need time alone with your true inner self. When you make time in your day and week to fill your cup — with a morning or evening ritual, doing the things you love, and small acts of self-care — then your cup will be overflowing with love, joy, creativity and inspiration. People often only see the symptoms and not the first seeds of the compulsory thought. It cannot be resolved using the thinking brain.
The mind can be separated into two parts: the conscious and the subconscious. They work together to make a complete being, you. Why not stop to listening to what our unconscious mind is trying to tell us? Psyche is revealed not only through poems, but through images, sound, symbols & our body, revealing the deepest aspects of self expressing of our inner world (what lies buried within us and what often cannot be put into words). The only way to find inner peace is to balance conscious and subconscious mind.
Some of us get can get lost in the chatter and clutter but we have a lot more energy than we give ourselves credit for. The missing element for balance within each of us is 'balance' between 'conscious mind' and 'unconscious mind'. Only by learning to use each part of our mind the right way can we reach our true potential. Even when we consciously believe something, our subconscious might disapprove, especially when it is in contradiction with our most important values and beliefs. When we learned to 'listen' to our unconscious mind, we can enjoy a better quality of life and hopefully a more peaceful life. In order to do that you need two things, knowledge and courage.
Just having positive experiences is not enough. They pass through the brain like water through a sieve. Positive stimuli is more common, however, human brain has a bias to command more attention to negative stimuli as its easier and grows faster.
My Driver of Anxiety: Trying Too Hard - instead of Doing Enough & moving on. Earlier my favourite strategy was to find another mother (not my girlfriend but divide it among my trusted friends--- i call them my support base system). A perfect mother is anyone who can make me feel nourished and accepts me as I am; who is willing to explains so that I can understand & someone from whom I can learn from by following their example. Somebody who tries to empower me with courage, confidence and independence. However, after they moved away and got married. I had to find a new way.
I have to now practice how to be child-like open and curious so that I can progress in personal and professional life, but also when to not get affected by negativity by being a good protective parent. To do that I have to regularly built the habit of checking and approving my own feelings with love in order to strengthen my self-esteem. I’ve also learned that how we react to events is far more important than what actually happens to us. It can be difficult not to become overwhelmed by negativity that fuel intense feelings of regret, anxiety, fear, despair, and anger. It isn’t the emotions themselves causing me to suffer—it’s my own judgment of those emotions. Many years I have given too much power to my protective conscious mind, which has become too loud. I have to encourage to increase my subconscious inner voice and listen to what my subconscious inner voice is saying.
"There is a common myth in society that we have to earn or prove our worth by ticking off a certain number of external achievements — like having a large house, successful career, impressive partner and acceptable body shape. The truth is your worth is innate — you were born enough. You are a changing as a person from who you were so leave the past but your true inner self is of divine origins and you can never be anything less than that. You did not come here to prove — you came here to play and laugh and love and learn and express and rise and create your wildest dreams. Replace self-criticism with praise and acknowledge, and not only will your confidence grow, but you will blossom into your full potential, because flowers bloom best with nourishment and love, not judgment."
Mindfulness = awareness = Yoga
- Earth (Grounding Yourself like long roots & opening your senses to touch): Meditation through dancing-Movement during the day
- Fire (Cleaning the mind & reciving security): Meditation near sacred but relentless fire (Agni) - "sacrifice, devotion, worship, offering"
- Water (Reciving the pure Grace): Meditation while immersing yourself in water (Snana) preferably just before sun rise - liberation
- Air (Connects the core of your brain to wellspring of God): Twenty Breathing exercise - breathe in for 5 seconds. Hold the breath for 3 seconds. Breathe out for 7 seconds
Breath by expanding your lungs and release by letting your stomach out. Sometimes you will tap into a wellspring of peace. Other times you might feel waves of sleepiness, boredom, anxiety, anger or sadness. Images may arise, old songs might replay, long-buried memories can surface. If your mind wanders, don't be concerned. We can be flooded with memories, plans or random thinking. It's important not to blame yourself. Notice that you don't invite your thoughts. Thoughts come and go without our volition, but we don't have to be ruled by them.
1. Witnessing Exercises: Our third eye
- I picked up a postcard that attracted me.
- I had to search why I identified with this postcard that I chose.
- I felt there was a duality about the picture that I was attracting me to it.
- This led to the sessions topic about finding ones "trinity". The predator and prey in us. But the session is not to find the balance middle. Its to find the third in us. Its the "Witness".
- To find the witness, we had to pick any object/thing/material and really observe it and make opinions in detail. Then we project on the object as if it is observing me. What does it think or opine about me? The object in reality has no thought but it is our thought that we need to listen; embracing it, calling out from within us, without paying importance to that voice (maybe its negative to edit out this side in us).
2. Witnessing (through dancing) Exercises: Awareness of Mood, Emotions & Body
Exercises based on the feeling of (sensory) touch help cultivate a heightened awareness.
"Expressive movement, improvised movement – movement that comes from the core of one’s being. Exploring this most intimate aspect of physical activity, not only to free it but also to develop it further, as a more sophisticated communication through that elusive and intangible medium – creativity."
- Spinning in circles or using a merry-go-round or spinning on a swing.
- Rocking in a rocking chair.
- Going upside down.
- Wheel-barrel walks.
- Summersaults or cartwheels.
- Rolling down a hill.
- Climbing trees.
- Using monkey bars.
- Jumping rope.
- Going backwards.
- Concentrate on listening what my body is saying (the sensation of movement or strain in muscles, tendons, and joints. However, Do Not concentrate on the emotion and feeling during my movement) regarding how to move myself.
- Trust the wisdom of inherent in our body
- My breathing with outside world and inside how my body feels. Giving some and taking in some.
- Feeling the feet on earth and head in clouds. Feet becomes earth. Knee become water and soil.
- Pelvis becomes water.
- Arms and chest and shoulders become air.
- Fire in the belly and comes out comfortably out of my eyes.
- I identified with water today. Became water and moved. Felt joy in water as an element. Playful above and stable below. I drew ripples of a drop. Felt like its an eye to my soul. Inward and outward.
It is possible to balance your conscious and subconscious mind through by watching your bodily reactions to various stimuli. Every movement has its appointed place, duration and weight. From simple yet profound actions of the body, attention and mind, the language of dance is brought to life. Somatic therapy is a form of body-centered therapy that looks at the connection of mind and body and uses both psychotherapy and physical therapies for holistic healing. Dance/movement therapy (DMT) in USA/ Australia or dance movement psychotherapy (DMP) in the UK ; looks at the correlation between movement and emotion.
3. Witnessing Exercises: Art for healing
- The session each of us made 2 drawings.
- The first drawing I made was of pale monotonous blue swirling waves and a vortex
- The second drawing I made drawing was of orange and yellow flaming forest
- We were asked at the end of the session to combine them (as in out one over the other) and raise it against the light and see what we found in the combined drawing.
- As I saw my two drawings against the light, one over the other; I saw a drawing of a dynamic paradise. This moved me.
4. Witnessing Exercises: Learning to hold space for others
Personal Risk Management
New behaviour becomes new positive thought patterns which can eventually become the dominant pathway. The must develop Courage (faith that you can become better over time) and Kindness to the areas that are in pain, caring for yourself as you would care for a small child i.e having true confidence, humility and consideration for others. You need to learn to grow self-compassion in order to be able to be kind.
If you pretend, you will be out, sooner or later, until you really change. Don’t try to outdo anyone else or it can backfire. It may mean asking for help or scaling back, which can big a huge challenge. This may involve redefining some boundaries in your career and relationships. Invest in yourself; it will benefit you and those around you. You need to be patient with yourself as you develop yourself. We also tend to learn better when we teach others.
Firstly, before we start, it will be good if you take the word "anger" out of your vocabulary and think in terms of fear, hurt or frustration. Now think of someone who you love but who has always hurt you deeply. If this person were suddenly gone tomorrow, what would wish you had had the courage to say? while imagining talking to that person begin your statement with: "I wish I had the courage to tell you...."
Maybe your mother was flawless, but it's more likely she made mistakes. Whatever her errors, you inherited a legacy of sorrow. You can and should find a way to heal what is call the "mother wound." it can be feeling of unloved, needy, stupid and helpless. If none of these feelings are familiar to you, it's a sure sign that you've been very well mothered.
We expect the world of them, and we do not wish to lower our expectations. We want our parents to embrace us, to tell us they know we were good children, to take back their hurtful criticisms, to give us their praise, to undo the favouritism they've shown to a brother or sister. Once you're feeling that pain or emotion, try and connect it to your past to uncover where that pattern of pain began. Now you need to forgive your parents and let them in again. Strange as it may seem, a grudge is a kind of clinging, a way of not separating, and when we hold a grudge against a parent, we are clinging not just to the parent, but more specifically to the bad part of the parent. It is important to separate from our parent—which is to stop seeing ourselves as children who depend on them for our emotional well-being, to stop being their victims, to recognize that we are adults with some capacity to shape our own lives and the responsibility to do so.
Along the way, we may have to express our protest, we may have to be angry and resentful, we may even have to punish our parents by holding a grudge. But when we get there, the forgiveness we achieve will be a forgiveness worth having.
- Mental Prisons: We cannot control how other person thinks of you but we can avoid assuming what that person can do or will do. Some people will act defensively by put you into predefined boxes and judge you suspiciously or assume that you are less capable. You can avoid being like them. Assuming the worst is often a self-fulfilling prophesies which leave you with only one bad outcome. When others go low and you go high, you are no longer a prisoner of you negative pattern of thoughts and there is also a small chance that the other person may pleasantly surprise you. It is a small price to pay to get unstuck and get out of your emotion jail.
- Over Complaining: The universal tendency of finding thousands of faults in others (even though nobody is perfect). You are only projecting your own weakness by calling it out. Even if you are right on the issue, this approach has never ever worked. You cannot correct it by pointing it every time, out as the person will forget it repeatedly, no matter how much you try. Instead, become the Light by removing your own victim mentality, and not judge others. The solution is to find a way confront in some another way, make peace with it or leave the job.
- Win-lose or low-trust mentality.
- Trying to balance too many roles which can effect your health and productivity. There are different forces which try to knock us off balance. Reality is that if you try to over manage, you will crash. When you are balanced you can take care of yourself and be well groomed. The sustainable way is to have love of dear ones, being there for those loved ones and the support of a complementary team who compensate for our weakness.
Instead of backing away from negative emotions, accept them. Thought is just a thought and a feeling just a feeling, nothing more. Acknowledge how you are feeling without rushing to change your emotional state. Many people find it helpful to breathe slowly and deeply while learning to tolerate strong feelings or to imagine the feelings as floating clouds, as a reminder that they will pass. Negative emotions also most likely aid in our survival. Unpleasant feelings are just as crucial as the enjoyable ones in helping you make sense of life's ups and downs.
Bad feelings can be vital clues that a health issue, relationship or other important matter needs attention. Even if you successfully avoid contemplating a topic, your subconscious may still dwell on it. Those who tried to muffle the thought reported dreaming about it more, a phenomenon called dream rebound. The exercise may shift your perspective and bring a sense of closure. You may also try doing mindfulness exercises to help you become aware of your present experience without passing judgment on it. One way to train yourself to adopt this state is to focus on your breathing while meditating and simply acknowledge any fleeting thoughts or feelings.
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Here are a few yoga tips to improve muscular strength, flexibility and coordination (along with strength training & cardio):
Men in 30s daily require 15,500 to 17,000 calories (balanced diet) per week which means, to lose 1 kg per week, you need to burn off 7,500 calories deficit per week more than what you consume (about 3-4 hours of workout per day) and 8 hours of sleep.
Since your hips are very close to your body’s center-of-gravity, stronger hips would mean that you have better control of your balance.
ALL power comes from the ground, nowhere else! Because your legs are connected to the ground, they are most responsible for pushing off the ground to generate power throughout your body. Your legs also happen to be the biggest muscles in your body, which is why all proper boxing punches are typically thrown with the legs pivoting and rotating.
Again, the legs generate the most power! Not the chest and definitely not the triceps. If you look carefully at many of the most dynamic and complete punches or boxers in history, you will see that they have great legs more often than great arms or big chests. Look very carefully at the typical boxer’s body and you won’t find over-developed pecs or huge triceps. Marcos Maidana, Manny Pacquiao, Thomas Hearns, Julian Jackson, and Felix Trinidad are some names of guys that immediately come to mind. These guys did not have big upper-bodies but they carried HUGE power in their fists. Even Mike Tyson, as dynamic a puncher as he was, was still more muscular at his legs than his arms!
Every limb in your body generates a certain amount of power individually but it is your abs that allow you to combine the force generated by every limb into one total force. Simply put, your abs allow you to connect the force generated by all your limbs into one powerful punch. Aside from connecting your whole body together the abdominal muscles help you breathe.
When you spend all your time hitting the heavy bag, you may not realize that the heavy bag is bouncing your hand back at you on the recovery phase. By neglecting to workout your back and rear shoulder muscles, you will have weaker punch recovery muscles. the back helps a lot in punch recovery–which is the speed of how fast you can pull your hand back after a punch.
Typically when boxers’ arms become too tired to punch or hold up to defend their head, it is usually because the shoulders that are tired! Think about it: when your arms get tired, it is usually always the shoulder that is the first part of the arm to get tired. From a physical standpoint, it makes sense since it’s a relatively small muscle on the edge of the arm that has to hold up the entire arm.
your arms are meant for connecting punches and NOT generating power. All your arms need to do is to connect the power generated by your body to your opponent! it’s more important to have fast arms than powerful arms. Fast arms give you that speed and snap. the triceps are for speed of straight punches. The biceps are for the speed and snap of your hooks and uppercuts.
The forearm muscles are for tightening your fist harder when you punch. A tighter fist means your hand will hit with a more solid punch. At the same time, a tighter fist means your hand is less likely to be injured since the bones don’t have much room to move around and get misaligned.
Heavy is not a weight you cannot handle, it is a weight you can handle. Heavy is still a weight that you can handle, whereupon your ligaments and joints aren't suffering. This is repeated twice because no matter how many times people are told to keep it light, they go always go too heavy and present their bodies with tremendous risk in terms of injury