“It is as if my life were magically run by two electric currents: joyous positive and despairing negative--whichever is running at the moment dominates my life, floods it.” Sylvia Plath.
“They called me mad, and I called them mad, and damn them, they outvoted me.”
"Thinking is difficult, that's why most people judge." - Carl Gustav Jung
One particularly ridiculous subset of this, however, is the tendency to try to steer people away from mental illness (as though it were a choice) by telling them the ways in which they are making or will make themselves physically sick (as though it’s the only kind of sickness that really matters).
The implicit assumption these sentiments come from is that a person with a mental illness is hurting themselves for the sake of sustaining their mental illness, rather than the truth — which is that mental illnesses hurt people because they are illnesses. Illnesses are illnesses, not choices.
The physical aspects of my conditions are part and parcel of being sick, and I sometimes get particularly scared. Often I think we with mental illnesses already feel guilty enough, and we are not responsible for our own suffering. Beth Booth.
Persistent anxiety can be rooted from real (e.g. dog-bites) or unconscious fear even if there is no danger. When anxiety occurs, unconsciously, the mind keeps working without resting and defence mechanisms are automatically triggered (directly builds up hostility and aggressiveness behaviour). When you cannot flee or flight, one may just freeze, feel dizziness and have sleep issues. Empathy, understanding, acceptance, and unconditional positive regard are all necessary but not sufficient.
Some are “nice guys”, a term they hate. Innocent angel-like 'good as gold' persona which builds them a credible reputation yet they fail to reach their true potential due to their own self-doubt. Being “safe” and “secure” may be important. They’ll go out of their way to help others and may have a “knight in shining armour” complex and find themselves continually drawn to women who need rescuing.
Ultimately, since no one can actually “rescue” anyone else, the needy women will most likely use them and then dump them (and the cycle of feeling like a failure continues.) He fears them. He will choose a woman that has low or no self-esteem. He does this to preserve his fragile sense of importance.
But, either way, he will miss out on forming an intimate bond with his mate and live out his life in emotional isolation and deep loneliness. Zombified and gradually lose all interests in their hobbies and decide to do nothing with their lives. No matter what sacrifice you make or how many times you turn yourself inside out and relinquish the sanctity of your life, you cannot change a people who drain you. What you can do is begin to recognize your own value as an individual, to heal and move forward to lead the life that you deserve----filled with insight, creativity, compassion, joy and inner peace.
This piece is a helping hand, my and other ppl's collection, to help oneself after that nervous breakdown. I, having been one member of this group, want to share my findings (solutions that I found on my own). I think, I understand the challenges face by abusers/bullies & helpless victims; people who growing up desperately wanted to be normal; people with learning problems such as memorize facts, dropping words, spellings & grammar difficulties, maths and sports; organizational difficulties; people who are awkward and have dysfunctional behaviour etc...
- Honouring and allow people the space to find their own way (suppressing it only makes matters worse)
- Keeping up your personal growth work (have the courage to become the person you've always wanted to be)
- Identify where you are not being truthful in your life (No 'Little White Lies' & Make a distinction between the problem and the person)
- Understand and smile at the failure. Being grateful.
- Get the Real Power Back and Fly more Positively than ever before.
The main cause of memory loss is a hormone known as cortisol. It's the hormone released during stress, which is why those with severe anxiety (and ultimately severe stress) are more at risk for developing memory loss problems. The longer you deal with anxiety, the more cortisol you'll have in your system, and that means that you're more likely to continue to suffer from memory loss in the future. But cortisol is not the only culprit, there is sleep loss and social reasons etc. Memory loss may be its own cause of anxiety. Some signs are : You may also notice that normal tasks seem hard to focus on, you are more forgetful, you forget things that you normally wouldn't, or you have difficulty forming thoughts or carrying on conversations.But Professor Andrew Scull of Princeton, has explained that attributing depression to spontaneously low serotonin is “deeply misleading and unscientific”. Dr David Healy said: “There was never any basis for it, ever. It was just marketing copy.”
As we age, our bodies change. These changes impact the length and quality of our sleep. As we age, our bodies secrete less of two important sleep hormones: melatonin and growth hormone. Without good sleep, brain functions 40% less at work and increases depression, anxiety and obesity. You are also unfocused and forgetful. You not only lose control over your mood but also the ability to pay attention, solve problems and be creative. It becomes dangerous for everyone on the road since it gets hard to remain alert and responsive (especially, like me, if you have to ride a bike to get to work). Its as dangerous as driving while drunk beyond the legal limit. If you had 4 or 5 hours of sleep, then you need 2 weeks of good sleep to recover.
Depression removes us from comfort zone and entangled us in the cobweb of lonesome world. Escape puts us in a comfort zone only temporarily. This time my mind did not let go of depression, my anxiety got worse and I was overwhelmed with stress. When you cannot flee or flight, one may just freeze, feel dizziness and have sleep issues. It turns out my subconscious mind was forcing me to face my repressed trauma. My mind and body stopped responding and I failed to do even the most basic things. I spend hours lying on the floor.
When you are surviving your life, each small step that seems to come so easily to most human beings feel like the hardest task you have ever had to do. At every step there are multiple thoughts of why I should just retreat back to isolation where I feel safest and forget about making any attempts. Everything is no joy, no ease and no hope. Heaviness on my heart, heaviness in my head, a black and dark sadness in my eyes and soul. The self-hate, the doom, the hopelessness feels all too familiar, and that is not a good thing because it makes me realize my quality of life is really not that great.
Many of our current issues, have its roots hidden in our early childhood. One way to resolve deep resentments, bubbling under the surface, since the time you are 4 years to 7 years old, is to by going through this process. You have to close your eyes and imagine that your child self was on the other side of an imaginary door. Then you have open the door and walk to meet your child self. Then you have to try to talk to your child self with love. First time I tried, I failed to talk to my child self. Then I came back home and slept on it. I then started thinking why this simple task was so difficult for me.
We generally forget that there is a valuable, worthy human being behind the inappropriate behavior. When we are focused on only treating behavior, we may be quick to dole out punishments or use shaming tactics to gain compliance. Shame has long been wielded as a powerful tool to modify a child’s behavior. When made to feel unworthy, children will usually try harder to please their parents, giving the illusion that it’s “working,” but those feelings of worthlessness cause deep scars which can take a lifetime to heal. Children who are compared with other children because they didn't get good marks in school sometimes grow up feeling that they are “fooling people” and express fear that they’ll be “found out” when they enjoy success in the world. The devil on their shoulders convincing them that they don't measure up. The maternal voice in their head will continue to undermine them, telling them that they aren't — smart, beautiful, kind, loving, worthy. Shame causes people to withdraw from relationships, to become isolated, and they compensate for deep feelings of shame with attitudes of superiority, bullying, self-deprecation, or obsessive perfectionism. When shame has been severe, it can contribute to mental illness.
Children who live in houses, where they see parents verbally abusing each other because of money feel scared and need reassurance. Children who were made to feel unlovable can carry that pain throughout their lives, and into every relationship. They are armored and detached, perhaps defensively or they become “pleasers” in adult relationships, not being able to say ‘no’ wanting a relationship so intense that the other person backs off. Alas, both types aren’t able to get the kind of emotional connection. They are afraid of intimacy on all levels; they are intensely vulnerable, and tend to be clingy and dependent. They oversensitive (about things real and imagined), overthinking everything and make avoidance the default position.
I realised I had not thought about my childhood days for a long time. Now I was forced to go back to remember how much I hated those days as a child. So, next time when I tried I was able to connect and talk to my child self in a sincere and friendly way; and that pain and anger was still inside me. After that my head felt lighter and I was able to do regular things again. I understood her therapy was working. She explained why my depression and anxiety come to the surface and I can learn to overcome it by giving attention to root cause. I had a choice of either not learning and repeating this pattern, which will only get worse or I can slowly overcome it in time if you understand and learn to keep myself healthy.
I have to now practice how to be child-like open and curious so that I can progress in personal and professional life, but also when to not get affected by negativity by being a good protective parent. To do that I have to regularly built the habit of checking and approving my own feelings with love in order to strengthen my self-esteem. I’ve also learned that how we react to events is far more important than what actually happens to us. It can be difficult not to become overwhelmed by negativity that fuel intense feelings of regret, anxiety, fear, despair, and anger. It isn’t the emotions themselves causing me to suffer—it’s my own judgment of those emotions. Many years I have given too much power to my protective conscious mind, which has become too loud. I have to encourage to increase my subconscious inner voice and listen to what my subconscious inner voice is saying.
Melatonin is important because changes in the level of this hormone control our sleep cycle. With less melatonin, many older adults feel sleepy in the early evening and wake up in the early morning. They also may have more trouble falling asleep. Growth hormone is what makes children sleep so deeply. As we age, our body secretes less of this hormone and deep sleep becomes more difficult.
Your perspective on life comes from the cage you were held captive in. I didn't invent my severe anxiety illness like people don't invent their bad health. Many suffer from constant fatigue that is not relieved by rest and sleep. Bit no one really cares one way or another, unless you ruin the morning announcements with a suicide.
We know so little about consciousness and will probably never fully understand it. Because psyche constitutes our identity, a problem with it seems to strike at the very core of what we think we are.
Some signs are : You may also notice that normal tasks seem hard to focus on, you are more forgetful, you forget things that you normally wouldn't, or you have difficulty forming thoughts or carrying on conversations.
- You have everything you need to get better. This sounds well intentioned, but to me it sounded like an indictment against me for not trying hard enough. It’s no doubt hard to watch someone who’s smart and capable unable to work. But telling a person who’s already struggling that they're lazy, just making excuses or aren't trying hard enough can be incredibly hurtful. It implied that I was staying sick on purpose, and that I had no interest in pursuing health, not to mention that I was too lazy or disinterested to do what I needed to do to get better.
- Just pray, because saying they lack sufficient faith adds insult to injury.
- Snap out of it. Everyone experiences a range of emotions. For instance, everyone feels sad occasionally. But sadness on some days isn't the same as “a hopeless pit of despair where it’s so dark I’ve forgotten what light looks like”
- Stop focusing on the bad stuff, and just start living. Why is this so problematic? It can make a person feel even worse about themselves. “[T]hey figure the fact that they can’t do it is, in their mind, just one more sign of their failure.”
- While a change in perspective can be helpful, it doesn't cure a condition, let alone someone debilitated by an exhausting mental illness.
- Get busy, and distract yourself. Because ignoring the issue doesn't make it go away.